One of the most wonderful experiences in life is to be in a loving and nurturing relationship. One of the most difficult experiences in life is to be unhappy in a relationship.
Relationships are challenging. Whether it be parent – child or wife – husband or partner – partner. If we didn’t get our needs for love and nurturing fully met as children, then we carry those needs forward into adulthood. Where they show up the strongest is within a close relationship.
Difficulties arise when both people are trying to get their needs met without clear understanding of them or communication about them. We often get caught thinking that they should know what we want or need. And then we are disappointed and upset when they don’t get it.
Learning to understand our own needs and how to express them is a difficult lesson that can be learned with practice. Of course, it is necessary to learn to really listen to the other person too.
Communication skills are not taught in school. There is an assumption that if we can read and write, then we can communicate. And that is true to a point. Where it misses is when feelings and emotions become involved.
Counselling can make a big difference in your life when you learn to understand your own needs and how to fill them yourself and how to ask for what you need from others. Counselling can also help you to learn how to be less defensive and more open and trusting.
Life is experienced more richly when you feel important as a person and can express yourself clearly and listen closely. Communication at an emotional level is paramount to living well.